Keys To Keeping the Love Alive Through the Years

- Great Relationship with God. Deut. 6:5; Matt. 22:27
God must be the center of our lives, not just a part of our schedule.

- Love your husband for who as he is NOW, not who you think he should be.
Your job as a wife is not to change your husband into the perfect man. It is to love, respect, submit to him, and support him.

- Make your husband your priority. Prov. 31:12
You have to live with him the rest of your life, so work towards a happy ending.
* Your children are important, but not as important as your husband.
* Your family is important, but not as important as your husband.
* Your job may be important, but not as important as your husband.

Do whatever it takes to make sure you're not giving your husband your leftover time.
* Quit your job or reduce your hours (You'll never look back on your life and wish you'd spent more time at work)
* Reduce some of your children's extra activities.
* Trust that God will take care of your children's success. Worrying and fretting over them will not help them. Loving your husband will. (Matt. 6:32)

- Ask the right questios when things are not going like you think they should. What can I do to change?
Stop blaming others for your problems. Take control by looking at what you are doing to create the situation that your don't like.
* Seek advice from trusted, mature disciples with good marriages.
* Keep your marriage transparent so that problems don't grow out of control.

-Don't listen to the world's ideas of what a woman should be. Use the Bible as your guide. (ICor. 2:12; Rom. 12:2)
It is easy to start believing what the world says (2 Thess. 2:10-13) about our role as a wife and forget God's order in marriage (Eph. 5:22); and , the importance of sex (I Cor. 7:5). We feel inferior if we are "only" housewives instead of seeing it as the most important job in the world (Prov. 31:10-31).

- Read good books. Below are a few of my favourities:
"The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" Dr. Laura Schlessinger
"Secrets About Men Every Woman Should Know" Dr. Barbara DeAngelis
"For Women Only" Shaunti Feldhahn

- Realize the importance of intimacy.
Sex is very important to a man. He needs it to feel close to you, and to confirm your love and need for him. It is important for you too! It bonds you to your husband and creates a warmer atmosphere between you. Somethings that you can do to make sure that sex is not a rare occurrence.
* Go to bed at the same time.
* Avoid wearing flannel pajamas or an old t-shirt to bed. Wear something nice or nothing at all.
* Don't let the children sleep in bed with you or even in the same room. Put the kids to bed early so you have some time together each day. (You may not need to have sex everyday, but you do need time together).
* Initiate sometimes. Don't always wait for him to initiate sex with you. Let him know you want and need him.
* Never turn down you husband's request for sex. Once you put your mind to it, you will enjoy it. Rmember energy comes from deep convictions and things done with energy are always more fun!
* If you really must turn your husband down because you are truly too tired, have a headache, etc., let him know when you will be better (i.e. the next morning or the next evening) then keep your word and make him glad he waited. Don't make shallow excuses.

- Keep yourself attractive (I Peter 3:2)
Although our inner beauty is most important, we should not neglect our outer selves. We don't have to be a Centerfold, but we should care about our appearance.
* Don't just complain about your weight. If you need to drop a few pounds, do it. You'll feel better and so will your husband because you will stop talking about it all the time and you'll feel more confident.
* Dress attractively when you are out of the house. Make your husband proud of you and you will also feel better about yourself. Comfort is fine, but sloppy is not.
* Dress attractively when you are in the house. Wear things that let your husband know you want him to notice you and think about you. Of course be aware of the kids, but you can undo an extra button and wear shorter shorts.

- Always make your husband glad to come home.
The world is full of temptations for your husband. Help him stay faithful and love staying faithful to you.
* When he comes home, greet him with a kiss not a complaint, nag or cold shoulder.
* If he has to travel, make his homecoming something he looks forward to the whole time he is away.

"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sin" I Peter 4:8


Speaker: JaLaine Hahn